Wednesday, September 23, 2009

True omens

This is a translation of my old aticle for Russian Cosmopolitan. Enjoy!

Some people believe in dark power of a broken mirror, other – in malignant intentions of black cats, and many people avoid to return home if they forgot something, because it’s bad luck. If you sing before seven, you will cry before eleven, and if the tip of your nose itches – you will get drunk tonight. Everybody says that it’s just stupid superstitions, yet keeps their fingers crossed.

But not all signs are meaningless figments. Here is a list of absolutely true and reliable everyday omens, suggested by common sense:

If the first thing you see when you wake up is

A Total Stranger: a hangover will be cruel

A Gloomy Husband: your life is stable

Antonio Banderas: you fell asleep in front of the TV again

A Prince Charming: Snow-White and the seven dwarfs are on their way

Your Downstairs Neighbor: you are about to spend a lot of money on plumbing

A Smiling Nurse with a Crying Newborn: childhood is over!

Somebody’s Bare Feet: you got bad sunburn, move under the shade as quickly as possible

Many Feet with Shoes on: you have to quit this brutal diet

Your Mom’s Face: congratulation, you are out of coma!

A Surprised Doctor’s Face: sorry you woke up during the operation

A Bear: you shouldn’t go camping without an instructor

A Lion: you need to think about career change

A Beautiful Little Cottage at the Beach; Soft Breeze Sways Sheer Curtains: the Matrix has you, Neo. Follow the white rabbit.

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