Thursday, February 18, 2010

Perpetual me

Well, I am completely submerged into my new project. I am covered with glitter, made two runs to the city in two days (which is my monthly norm) and freaking out. I hate myself for inability to stick to something and not trying new things all the time. Why or why I can't just find my own style and keep producing something familiar and expected like the majority of successful artist do? I know that that's the way to do things, it is even recommended by artists' contractors: find your style and we will find a job for you, but - NOOOO, I am always looking for something else, something yet unexplored, something that looks fresh and promising (that is exactly like the previous project looked just a month ago) and jump into a new escapade.

It maybe sounds admirable, but in reality it's just another form of a commitment phobia. Gosh, I couldn't even commit to the TV show, I always wait till the season is over and I can watch it in one gulp, because I absolutely can't make myself to be in front of the TV in certain time in certain day of the week. And - again - I have another thing on the go, the whole shebang, and even I am so in love with the idea right now I already see how shabby and pitiful it will look in a few month and there it is - an another disappointment waiving at me: come here, baby, you know how all this ends, how it always ends.

It's like I am ashamed to be caught repeating myself. But actually it is not a flaw. To be recognisable by your work is a normal and actually desirable for a professional. Look at this picture on the top, for example: how you can not recognise Diane Arbus' photograph? But who can say that she lucks variety and repeating herself? Do you understand what I am talking about?


  1. Nah, don't sweat it. I think you are searching for you "signature" something. It can be transferred from one project to another and while the projects can be vastly different, that something will remain the same. That's a very subjective IMHO :-) I personally love that you do something different :-)

  2. Thank you for you kind words. It's just - I am not so young anymore. Should have found something already.