Wednesday, March 23, 2011
So you bought yourself a pair of Doc Martens...
Apparently, "How to break in your new Dr. Martens boots" is a hot topic on Internet. Not if I didn't expect this problem to arise: for the first time you put these babies on in the store you quickly realise that breaking them in will be a challenge. I just didn't know it was such a prominent part of our contemporary culture.
Good-hearted advices go from "Just suck it up you whiny bitches and start wearing them" to "Pour the lightening fluid over, light them on fire and then run your Buick over for a good measure". Wrapping the boots in rags and hitting them repeatedly with ether a hammer or a big rock is considered standard.
The girl in the store gladly advised me that it would take up to two weeks of non-stop wearing, "but after that they will mold to your foot and become the most comfortable shoes you ever had and you will have them forever". "Do these two weeks include sleeping in them?" - I made a pitiful attempt for a joke, but was promptly set back by the salesgirl: "Some people actually do!"
You know what? They most certainly do! One of the most popular advice is: fill the tub with hot water, soak your new boots in it, put them on and wear them until dry, if necessary - sleep in them. After 48 hours of agony it all will be over. No shit.
Ok, people of Earth. I am not running my new boots over with a car, I am not wearing them in the shower and I am certainly not wearing them for two days straight. Because I actually believe that the majority of all these urban legends comes from people who never tried to break in a pair of high heels. Yes, sir. You just don't know what real pain is. A couple of days in my hands -
and on my feet - and these kittens will purr.